Failure to Communicate (12-06-09)

In the 1967 Steve McQueen movie, Cool Hand Luke, a prison guard says to McQueen’s inmate character, “What we have here is a failure to communicate.”

It is perhaps one of my favorite movie quotes, as it so aptly gets to heart of most of the issues I see everyday as a school principal. Most problems are the result of misconceptions, miscommunications, assumptions, rumors, or flat out lies. I do not recall ever having used the line to a student or parent, but I could use it often. “What we have here (kid, parent, teacher, insert name here) is a failure to communicate.”

So I spend a lot of time trying to communicate successfully, to ensure that all parties understand each other and understand the facts clearly and truthfully. Most issues simply work themselves out once the “failure to communicate” is overcome.

Perhaps this is why I was asked this week to moderate a forum on “Communication Between the Generations” at a gifted seminar at the Northwest Kansas Educational Service Center in Oakley. (Or perhaps it was because the original moderator couldn’t make it and they were desperate to find a replacement!) Regardless the reason, I found myself facing a room full of very intelligent high school students, introducing a panel comprised of five adults of various ages to talk about…well talk and such.

In my preparation for this assignment, I learned about four generations, each with general preferences, strengths, and weaknesses. People over the age of sixty-five make up the senior generation, forty-five and older are called Baby Boomers, twenty-five to forty-five are referred to as Generation X and today’s youth make up Generation Y.

The differences are fairly obvious and largely tied in with technology. Seniors prefer face-to-face communication, while Gen Y is proficient at texting on their cell phones. Baby Boomers are more comfortable with structure, while Gen X people are a little more independent. According to what I read, Gen Y individuals are more family centric and crave a better work/life balance. This bit of news gives my great hope for the future.

The members of the panels were three seniors, including a former world traveler and church pastor, along with a Baby Boomer and a Fort Hays State University communications Gen X professor.

We began talking about texting. The number of hands that raised to the “Do you text?” question was certainly eye opening, with near 100% of the teens in the room texting regularly. However, all those hands also went up when asked if the regularly text their parents, so again, I have hope.

One of the seniors told a story about having to terminate the contract of two employees who spent more time texting than working. This led to a discussion about how texting logs can be retrieved with a subpoena from the phone company, and about how everything you put on the Internet is there for all time.

“Never post or text anything that you wouldn’t also send to your parents,” was the advice of the panel.

Next we talked about eye contact and the importance of establishing rapport. The youngest generation has high expectations of older generations, and they feel respect is something to be earned and not blindly given. However, the older generations feel they deserve respect due to experience.

The forum went very well, with many insightful and thought provoking comments from all four generations. However, the one observation that will stick with me came from the ex-pastor. He talked about how while he doesn’t text, he did pass a lot of notes when he was a boy. He pulled out his cell phone to show that he is as connected as anyone else. Finally, he talked about how we, as human beings, have more in common with one another than differences. Regardless of age or communication preference, we share common desires, interests, and passions, the same basic needs as humans have sought for a long time.

All in all, I thought the day to be a great success. It taught me that when I encounter a “failure to communicate” to always remember that communication is key to understanding, and understanding is essential for growth.

Growth from one generation to the next. I wonder if I’ll still be referred to as “Generation X” when I am a senior citizen. I suppose, all in all, it will not matter that much.