Facing the Blank Screen (07-20-09)

Almost every week for the last three years, I have sat down at my computer and faced the blank screen. (It used to be a blank piece of paper, but I am fortunate to live in the wondrous age of word processing.) Sometimes I approached the task of writing a weekly column gladly, with topic in hand and a line of thought I just couldn’t wait to get out of my head. More often than not, I have approached the task somewhat reluctantly, with only a whiff of an idea of what I would write.

On those occasions, where the writing of this column seemed akin to pulling my own teeth, I would force myself to concentrate and then, just write. Almost always, once the words began to flow I’d find myself with something say after all, and before I knew it, I would have 600-700 words and another column to send to Jim Logback.

So now I am at it again, after the longest absence I’ve had from our local paper. I could give you all sorts of excuses for my time off. During that period, my wife and I produced the community melodrama. My family has also traveled, going to Quinter and Kansas City. Then there was baseball and t-ball which I helped coach. And I’m sure if I really thought about it, I could find other reasons why I was “just too busy” to compose even a single short column the last month.

But that wouldn’t be the entire story. Really, my lack of columns has as much to do with not having anything to say in the last thirty days. I just couldn’t face that blank screen.

You could call it writer’s block. When I first began this project, I hadn’t intended to write every week, but every week I kept thinking of ideas. But when the ideas were thin, I kept going for the readers – all those thoughtful people who said such nice things about my writing. I knew they would be looking for my column in the paper. I didn’t want to disappoint.

But this summer has been different. Even with all the people I know who have missed my columns this last month, I just couldn’t muster any enthusiasm. The entire routine seemed a little stale.

So I surprised myself this evening by sitting at my computer and facing the blank screen. I still don’t have much to write about. I thought about describing last weekend, when we saw our sixteen-year-old nephew perform in a Kansas City Community Theater production of “High School Musical”. He was cast as the lead, the basketball player turned singing sensation Troy Bolton. I knew he could sing, but I hadn’t realized just how handsome he had become, nor how confident, poised, and overall talented he was. I got to see a flock of teenage girls stand in line for his autograph and I cannot tell you how proud we all were at how well he handled the pressure and attention. Way to go Anthony, we’re proud of you

I could write about painting my office, but really how many words does it take to describe yellow plus blue makes green, the three colors I’ve chosen to brighten up the place. I could write about the melodrama, but I’ve spent the last week burning DVD’s and posting the video to the local cable channel and to YouTube (www.youtube.com/tonleee), so it can speak for itself.

So once again, I find myself with not much to say and a column to write. So why have I bothered?

Because this is what I do. I am not particularly skilled at building or gardening or hunting or golf or any of a hundred other hobbies. But I can write, and writing this column has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. No matter how much I may be intimidated by that blank screen, the honest truth is that I enjoy writing. Even when the writing is difficult…especially when the writing is difficult.

I hope next week I’ll have a more interesting topic. As of right now, I got nothing.