Trust (09-14-09)

This week, our students learned a little more about trust. That is not to say that we don’t already have trustworthy students. In fact, I have been repeatedly impressed with the number of times that grade school students have been honest and forthright, especially when admitting a mistake. I always tell kids who come to my office that we can fix any wrong, as long as they are honest. In my opinion, I have found that when kids admit to their behavior, when they take responsibility for their actions, great strides can be made to assure that the mistake doesn’t happen again. I try not to label students as “bad” or as “good”, but I am proud to be able to call most of them “honest.”

As part of our “Character Counts” campaign, we are taking a month or two to cover each of the six pillars. August and September are devoted to “trustworthiness,” and thus we brought in a speaker to talk to the all the students, K-12, about the issue of “trust.”

The speaker is Noalee McDonald-Augustine, a professional development specialist and character education presenter for the Smokey Hill Learning Center. Her specialty is team building, which she primarily teaches on the “rope course” at Fort Hays. However, she is knowledgeable on a wide variety of topics. When she learned that we were covering the pillar of trustworthiness, she came prepared.

We asked quite a lot of this presenter, in that we scheduled her to talk to groups of K-1, 2-4, 5-6, 7-8, and 9-12. She began her day with the K-1, where she read them a Bearenstein Bears book about telling “whoppers”. The book told the tale of how two children broke a rule by playing soccer indoors, which resulted in the breaking of a favorite lamp. When confronted, the children made up a ridiculous tale about a large bird swooping in and destroying the lamp. But soon they change their tune and tell the truth.

To me the best part of the book was the end, where we learned that while the children still occasionally forgot a rule, and even played ball in the house every now and then, from that moment on, they told the truth. The book said that the parents didn’t expect their children to be perfect. They understood that kids would forget and make poor decisions, but that all was okay if they told the truth. Lamps can be fixed or replaced, but trust, once broken, is much harder to repair.

With the 2-4 group and the 5-6 group, Ms. McDonald-Augustine had the children build fragile structures, both out of Jinga blocks and out of pieces of paper. Through the use of symbolism and metaphor she demonstrated how long it takes to build up trust, and how quickly it can be destroyed.

The last part of her day, talking to the 9-12 students and then specifically to the 7-12 student council was done in the high school auditorium. This was Tuesday, when the temperature climbed into the 90’s. With no breeze to speak of, the afternoon session became a sauna, but our speaker soldiered on. She had the kids analyze magazine ads for truthfulness. The student groups, by and large, found the ads to be trustworthy, until Ms. McDonald-Augustine pointed out either the fine print or something “between the lines” to cast doubt on the adds. All of the products, from cell phones to makeup, were targeted at teens, and her point was for our high school students to question who and what they should trust.

Overall, the day got me to thinking a lot about trust. It is the currency I deal in every day. I am as only as good as my word, and my ability to work with teachers, students, and parents depend directly on how much and how well I am believed. Often I have to combat rumor or false perception to keep the trust in tact. I have tried to build a reputation as an administrator who can be trusted. If I say I will do something, I know I had better do it. If I say I did something for a certain reason, that reason had better be true.

Ms. McDonald reminded me that trust is a precious thing. That is a lesson you can’t learn enough.