Filling the Bucket (03-24-08)

On the day before spring break, our students attended a presentation on character education. The presenter was from the service center, and she was asked to talk to the kids about making good choices in regards to how they treat others.

All day long, as she worked her way through the grades, she presented the students with a figurative image: that everyone carries with them an invisible “emotional bucket.” When we treat people with respect, kindnesses, and concern, we help to fill this bucket, and when we chose to tease, put-down, deceive, or hurt, then we empty the buckets of others.

She got the idea from a children’s book, and explained the concept using colorful illustrations straight from its pages.

I am a big believer in slogans, and I appreciated the catch phase question: Have you filled someone’s bucket today? The younger students especially latched on to the idea that we have the power to fill or empty another person’s emotional bucket. After going through the idea, the presenter had the kids think of ways to fill each other’s buckets. Then she solicited volunteers to get up and go to a peer and say something nice, all in the name of filling that person’s bucket.

The activity created some nice moments and some sincere bucket filling. Personally, I will never forget the first grader who told me, “Mr. Goodwin, you’re a great principal!” Wow! Instantly my bucket was filled and my entire day brightened for the better. I gave the student a big hug and spent the remainder of the day with a smile on my face.

I am not sure, though, of the effectiveness of the presenter’s message on some of the junior high students. Don’t get me wrong, the presentation was a worthy exercise for all the students, and I am convinced that even the most skeptical students got more out of the message than they would ever admit. I know that some of the sarcastic comments I heard from some of the older students was a natural response from some naturally sarcastic adolescents. I think the presenter struck an emotional nerve, and some of the kidding afterwards was their way of dealing with the discomfort of having to acknowledge powerful emotions.

Yet, there is one premise of the presentation that concerned me, especially with the older students. The fill-the-bucket book took the concept of filling and emptying others’ emotional bucket a step further by asserting that when we fill someone’s bucket, our own bucket magically fills itself. Conversely, the book asserted that when we say or do hurtful things, we not only empty someone’s bucket, but our own bucket empties as well.

The reason why these assertions concern me is that I think some people are able to fill their buckets by emptying others. Or maybe, some people have holes in their buckets and find temporary satisfaction is making other people’s buckets as empty as their own.

I liked the presentation and the extended metaphor. It provides me, as a school administrator and impromptu counselor, a catchphrase to begin a dialogue about emotional competencies. However, I wish that, for the older students, the presenter had done more to address the root causes of bullying, teasing, and other hurtful behaviors.

Of course, there is no way that a ninety-minute presentation could solve all the world’s problems. The presentation did fill my bucket, and now I accept my responsibility to not only fill as many buckets as possible, but to patch the holes and leaks so that all students may know that warm goodness of a filled bucket.