The Principal's Wife (07-30-07)

On July 25th, 1998, I made the smartest decision I will ever make. I married the love of my life, Tonia Lee Goodwin. This week, nine years later, we celebrated that momentous day, and I couldn’t let the moment pass without expressing a little about how I feel about marriage and about the woman who said yes to be my wife all those years ago.

Recently, someone told me that they were amazed at my positive outlook on life. They were amazed because they knew me before I was such a happy guy. Yes, hard as it may be to believe, I used to be considered quite the pessimist by those who know me. For years, I fought this label, preferring to call myself a realist instead. Maybe it was the fact that I was raised a Kansas City Sports fan, but the Royals and the Chiefs broke my heart enough to teach me to always expect the worst, or at least, to never expect the best.

And then I met Tonia. You may have heard the story - I know I have told it enough. She was a nun and I was a Nazi and we both had small roles in a community theater production of The Sound of Music. I remember how much she made me laugh that summer. And she has never stopped amazing me with her wit, her intuition, and her amazing talent.

When we moved to Inman, she really found her niche. A theater major in college, she began auditioning for the Wichita Shakespeare Company. At first the roles were small, but she quickly made a name for herself. Before long other theaters were contacting her to be in their productions, and she found herself in demand. And I found myself with a new name: Tonia’s Husband…as in “Oh, you’re Tonia’s husband…what was your name again?”

I cannot express how proud I was of my wife during that time. Her performances always, ALWAYS made me so proud to be known as “Tonia’s husband.”

But then the good Lord blessed us with another child, and it became more difficult for Tonia to find the time for shows. I started grad school, and my amazing wife smoothly shifted roles. I think about all the times that I wanted to quit Wichita State, and all the times she sat up late with me listening to me blow off steam and helping me to keep my eyes on the prize.

During my last semester, I began to send off my resume to any school with a job listing. I quickly discovered that while there were plenty of vacancies, no one was interested in a kid not quite through with college who was working at a charter school in the educational hinterlands.

As the rejection letters came streaming back, I reached my lowest point. No matter how low I got, no matter how much I began to doubt my abilities, my wife was there, reminding me to be strong, to keep trying, and reassuring me every step of the way.

Then Hill City came along. Finally, I had found a situation where I was the right person in the right place at the right time. It happened just like my wonderful wife said it would, and the last year has been truly the happiest of my life.

I think it has been a joyous time for our entire family. Yet, I think about what my wife had to give up for us to come here. Yes, we have started a summer melodrama, and yes, we hope to sponsor more community theater, but it will never be the same for her as living within an hour of Wichita, Hutchinson, McPherson, and Lindsborg.

And while she has so smoothly and gracefully made the transition to being a principal’s wife, I am fully aware of the sacrifice she has made and continues to make each and every day.

I guess that is what marriage is all about: sacrifice, love, and support. And never forgetting to say thank you for all the sacrifice, love, and support.

So thank you, dear. It has been nine wonderful years, and with luck, we will get many, many more.