Transformer Love (02-18-08)

Did you know that the Transformers are put on Valentine’s Day cards? That’s right - those toys that transform from common things like planes, trains, and automobiles into massive mechanized humanoid robots. Along with pirates and puppies and princesses, I received Valentine’s Day Cards with serious looking robots set against sci-fi backdrops, as if the Transformers were not from this world. (Maybe they aren’t – I have never given the matter too much thought!)

All in all, I received something like two-dozen cards and gifts, including many different Transformer Valentines. I got holographic cards, shiny foil cards, cards with suckers and candy pre-attached, and even a couple of home made Valentine’s.

In addition to the cards, I got candy bars, gum, lollipops, pop rocks, and boxed chocolates. I received confections from students, teachers, and staff. Perhaps the most surprising sugary treat came from the kitchen staff. During lunch, they handed me a pink Rice Crispy treat with an attached candy heart that proposed marriage. “Marry Me!” the heart said, and I had to look around to see who from the kitchen was checking me out.

Then, there were the flowers. Those wonderful ladies at the Unicorn and at Iris Annie’s really earned their money, ferrying countless flowers and balloons around town. By the end of the day, it was obvious at the middle school that we were going to have a bit of a challenge getting all the stuff that had been delivered into the students’ hands. So we made a list of all the recipients and after school we had what seemed like half the school lined up outside the office to get their flowers, balloons and bags of candy. Of course, we missed a few, but thankfully, I didn’t hear anyone complain about having to get their Valentine’s flower a day late.

The point (if there actually is a point to all this) is that Valentine’s Day, like the robot toys, has transformed itself from something small and ordinary, into a large force with which to be reckoned.

I remember little from the Valentine’s of my youth. I may have given a few, and I may have received a couple, but I do not recall the class-wide exchanges that happen today. I also don’t remember buying Valentine’s cards when I was kid. The cards were homemade, and involved lots of construction, paper, glue, and crayons. I certainly don’t recall Valentine’s that featured space robots wielding laser cannons wishing me a Happy Valentine’s Day or Else!

Basically, I was completely unprepared for the outpouring of love inspired by this greeting card holiday. I did not have a single Valentine’s to return to any of the people who gave to me, and I never did give those sweet ladies in the cafeteria an answer to their proposal.

In fact, I showed my true colors by scheduling a bond issue community meeting for that night. Whoops! To my surprise and chagrin, I had several complaints from couples that just could not understand how I could expect anyone to attend a bond meeting on the most romantic night of the year. All I could say in my defense is that when I scheduled the meeting, I just saw a Thursday night. It never even crossed my mind that February 14 was the day of love!

To all the kids, parents, and staff who were so kind to give this unromantic administrator a little something to commemorate the holiday, I say thank you. I have never felt so loved and I am a lot closer to understanding what all the fuss is all about.

Next year I will be more ready. I will go to the store and stock up on shiny cards filled with pirates and princesses and super romantic space robots.

Of course, now that I think about it, Valentine’s Day 2009 falls on a Saturday. I guess the Transformers will just have to hold their proclamations of passion for a couple more years.