Not To Worry (11-05-07)

I recently heard some great quotes about one of my favorite subjects: worry.

The first goes something like this: Worry is the absence of faith while faith is the end of worry.

The second goes like this: why worry about what you can’t control because, well, you can’t control it. And why worry about what you can control, because if you can control it, what is there to worry about?

Finally, tonight my family watched the movie Finding Nemo on television. In the scene where Marlin thinks he and Dori are going to be swallowed by the whale, Dori tries to tell him, “Everything will be all right.” Marlin replies, “How do you know?” and the other fish replies, “I don’t. Trust me!”

These quotes and adages all speak to the pointlessness of worry. The only problem is that I just can’t stop worrying.

I suppose my biggest source of worry comes from my own children. Having an active eight month old certainly presents plenty to worry about. What is that she just put in her mouth? Is the basement door open? Did I remember to put the crib gate up? Is the belt in the car seat tight enough? It never ends.

Of course I worry about my other children as well. Are they happy? Well adjusted? Will they know all they will need to know in this ever changing, ever faster and more demanding world?

Which of course, leads me to my job as an educator. There I have more than 250 to worry about, and that doesn’t even count my staff or all the wonderful parents I have come to know.

Basically, my world has gigantic potential for worry, so I appreciate any and all advice on how to ease-up, relax, and enjoy the chaos.

I gain most of my calm from the calm of those around me. My wife rates number one in calm, and she has taught me a lot about letting go of my worries. Then there is the stability of the school staff. The secretaries in particular, seem especially adept at letting worries slide away. The joy of working with a veteran staff is that they have seen it all and lived through just about every type of crisis, so when I get worried, they are able to tell me with confidence to just relax, everything will be okay.

I am learning to relax, but I doubt I will ever be entirely able to let go of my worries. For one thing, I think I need to worry. I think that it keeps me sharp and alert. Worry helps motivate me to be proactive and try to address issues before they become critical.

Worry also reminds me to close the basement door, put up the crib gate, and pull a little tighter on the seatbelt holding the car seat. For me, anyway, worry does seem to have a constructive purpose. At least, I think so.

The great irony, of course, is that I have just spent a column worrying about worry. Crikey! Maybe I just need to get a little faith. Everything will be all right. How? I don’t know. I’ll worry about that later.