A Little Sunshine (10-24-06)

Please indulge me in a little visualization, if you will. For this column you will need someone to read the next bit out loud, while you close your eyes. You will need to see with your mind. Ready? Good.

Imagine, in your mind, a vibrant, healthy house plant. If could be a fern, or perhaps a flower, maybe a spread of geraniums, or even a red Christmas poinsettia. See this healthy green plant and picture the bowl or pot that holds it, perhaps brown terra cotta, or white porcelain.

Now see your own two hands reaching out, and tearing off a leaf or a stem. Then another, and another. See your hands ripping that plant apart as fast as you can. You should see leaves and stems and, perhaps, bits of dirt flying through the air as you completely shred through the once healthy foliage.

Now all that should remain in you mind is a single, shredded, mutilated stem, sticking out of a empty, dirt-smeared pot.

Now wipe that image from your mind and picture the same pot, now clean and shining, filled with fresh, rich, black potting soil. Now see your hands planting a fat seed in the moist dirt, and imagine yourself nurturing that seed, giving it water and putting it where it can receive sunlight and warmth. Now picture the first tender, fragile shoot of green breaking through, bursting through the soil. Contemplate the days and weeks of tender care needed for the plant to grow, to mature, and finally to blossom into the vibrant and healthy plant that you imagined when you first closed your eyes.

Okay. You can open your eyes now. Be sure to thank the person who just read to you.

The question I now want you to consider is this: which was easier – ripping apart the plant or helping it grow? Is it easier to tear something down or build something up?

Recently, I used this visualization with all the high school students in order to make the point that people, as well as plants, need plenty of sunlight - plenty of positive reinforcement in order to grow, mature, and become the best they can be. I did this visualization to challenge the students to take always take the high road. It is indeed easier to tear something, or someone, down, than it is build someone up, but I think Hill City kids are more than up the challenge of supporting each other and bringing sunshine into each other’s lives.

I was feeling really good about the time I spent doing all this when I heard the comment that while it is a good thing to remind teenagers to play nice, the negative attitudes really began and ended with the adults.

Crikey!

I was reminded of a recent conversation I had with a referee I know about the shortage of officials becoming a serious problem for our athletic leagues.

“Would more people become refs if we paid them more?” I naively asked.

“Bill, no one goes into officiating for the money. We do it because we enjoy it. Only we don’t enjoy it when we get yelled at by fans, when we get harassed after games, when we have to be escorted by armed police officers to our vehicles. It’s just not worth it.”

And that brings me right back to my plant analogy. While it is easier to tear, shred, grind, yell, scream, berate, and even attack, all that negative behavior accomplishes is to destroy the very thing so many of us so passionately support. Without refs, coaches, sponsors or player, there would be no games or activities. What would our garden look like then?

I remember the advice of my predecessor at Hill City High, who urged me to warn the fans to keep their criticism of refs, coaches, sponsors and players to themselves while attending an activity or competition. “Let cooler heads prevail,” he told me. “Disappointed fans can always make come in the next day to voice their concerns, but at the game is not the time or place to vent frustration.”

It was excellent advice. I urge all of us do what we can to hold back our dark words and actions. I know it is not always easy. Sometimes we are so moved by emotion that we feel we just have to scream. But next time you are tempted to just let the ref, or the coach, or the players, really have it, think about how the negative words delivered in an angry scream will be perceived by those around you. Our children are watching us, and if we don’t take the high road, how can we expect them to?

Maybe in those difficult, emotional moments, we can just close our eyes, take a deep breath, and think of something beautiful and green, basking in the warm sunshine. A little sunshine can go a long way.